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❝It's Arakita. I'm not here. Leave a message.❞

[Beep!]

[ that ... was actually one of the response options he expected. (the others being 'no response' and 'a very loud and abrasive demand that he fuck off,' mostly.) kakyoin stares at his phone quietly as he listens to arakita's message, trying to read between the lines of that huffy, blustering response.

he's always been fairly good at reading people without being told things explicitly, but it's hard to gauge exactly how much of arakita's caustic attitude is genuine, and how much is just an angry, defensive front.

when kakyoin decides to respond he sounds just a little less stiff. ]

... it must be convenient, being able to brush off something like this with such ease.

[ there's a dry edge to that sentence, just enough to hint that he can tell arakita's pretending to be more flippant about this than he really is. it's not mocking, though, and his voice quickly regains its usual solemn note as he continues. ]

A death threat is never anything to be taken lightly. But it's especially vile when given while the opponent isn't able to fight back on the same terms. It's underhanded and cheap; it's an action that I'd condemn anyone taking, and, Yao influence or not, it's doubly disgusting coming from myself. Despite what you may have assumed, I don't apologize for things unless my actions have truly merited them -- and I'm well aware of the magnitude of what I did to you.

[ pause, and then a brief sigh. ]

... but if you wish to simply drop the issue, then I'll oblige and never bring it up again.

[ it'd leave a bad aftertaste, admittedly, but it's still not his decision to make, in this case. ]

[He's not stupid, or deaf. The prickly feeling at the back of his neck that rises with the sound of Kakyoin's dry edge tells him that his mask of flippancy isn't as opaque as he likes.

No, it isn't easy, necessarily, but the rationalization it follows is something he's very, very used to using.

If he lays himself completely bare, he'll be eaten alive here. He's not dumb or naive enough that every person with powers either like or more powerful than this guy's is as noble. If he falls apart- admits to how completely terrified he was- he knows (at least, suspects) that there are people here who would prey upon that even if he discounted Yao as a whole.

(but he's weaker still in a way, in that this is over the phone and not in person- certainly if they were talking face-to-face, much more protective aggression would cover his words instead of frivolousness)]

Hah- It was goddamn cheap and shitty. Glad your head's cleared up enough to see that.

[There it is again- the sarcastic bite and especially forced flippant tone. If he did actually take it lightly, it wouldn't be there at all.]

...Tch. I'm not gonna just forgive you and act like nothing's happened, but don't drag it out like moronic baggage. So don't go announcing what you did as some messed-up way of making up for it.

[In other, less round-about words: don't tell anyone, because if they found out how badly you beat me, they might be tempted to do the same.

If prejudice or paranoia until proven non-threatening is the ideology he has to continue to follow in order to survive here, he'll do it. Though, as proven through this incident, verbal expression of this philosophy isn't going to do him well- for once, he'll take care to curb himself in this aspect in the future. ]

[ honestly, even with what's happened between them, there's still the fairly strong urge to grab this guy by the collar of his shirt and shake him violently, just to drive the point home that this -- this flippant attitude and insistence on speaking back so brashly when he can't back up his words with strength -- is stupid. while pride and integrity are certainly things he understands, arakita's insistence on aggravating others without reason goes far beyond simply 'maintaining his sense of self' and dives head-first into the territory of 'dumb as a brick.'

but he won't say it out loud. not right now. perhaps at another time. ]

I hadn't considered doing anything like that in the first place.

[ a brief pause before he adds sternly: ]

Seeking out public shame in that manner is often done for self-satisfaction, rather than out of repentance. An attempt to make oneself a martyr, to earn pity and sympathy, with apologies to the victim being a secondary concern at best.

[ just to make it clear that he wouldn't have done such a thing for his own reasons, rather than just because arakita demanded it so crudely.

he gives a short sigh (only slightly) marred by exasperation, and when he continues, his tone of voice is a little more level. ]

Regardless, I imagine I've made myself clear. Unless you've got anything else to demand, I won't waste any more of your time.

Hey.

[Until that, it seems as if Arakita silently agrees with Kakyoin's judgement for a few seconds after he finishes.

It's blunt and short, though perhaps a bit less terse than his speech before. If anything, he's relieved that this incident is relegated to the past.]

Did people really give you that much shit for having those weird powers?

[If, as was the case for him, all negative held back emotions that were supposed to be left in the past were suddenly brought up for him and amplified, that whole spiel about "I'm sick of people acting like I'm a monster" is probably his issue.

Arakita half regrets asking, but it's already out on the table and he isn't going to half-ass it and back down.]

Isn't that crap normal for people in your world? Why did you care so much?

[He assumes that, ironically, his world being absent of "freak powers" is abnormal here.]

[ good thing this is voice-only, because kakyoin can't help staring at his phone in abject confusion for a moment. he certainly hadn't expected to be asked something so personal, and he can't pinpoint any plausible motive for doing so, either. there isn't really anything for arakita to gain from pursuing such a topic.

kakyoin is silent for a long moment before he finally answers, his voice a little quieter. polite, but more distant. ]

It's very rare, the sort of ability I have. I didn't meet anyone capable of seeing or understanding mine until a few months ago -- a few months before arriving here.

[ it's not like he explains these things to people often -- never before to anyone who doesn't have abilities -- but he does owe arakita, and this probably won't cause too much harm. so he continues, keeping his tone of voice a little detached.

it may be the same thing he so angrily told arakita about back then, but his demeanor and word choice are drastically different this time. ]

I was born with mine, and believed it to be normal. So I acted upon those assumptions. To most people ... the things I did and said would have seemed abnormal, so they responded accordingly. Once I realized my ability was abnormal and learned to hide it, the problem ceased. Though it wasn't anybody's fault, it was a case of critical miscommunication.

[If anything positive can be said about how Arakita communicates with people, it's that he does listen. He is quiet for the duration of Kakyoin's explanation, most likely to the surprise of the other man.

When he's positive Kakyoin's finished, he rolls out a sigh, a slight disparaging if not understanding click of his tongue coming with it.]

So that's how it is, huh.

[It isn't quite sympathetic, but it isn't entirely dismissive either.

So it was repressed anger at the world that, after being prodded by a catalyst and an environment encouraging it, exploded in a way completely contrary to what he values now. He- kind of- gets it, or at least understands the frustration that leads to lashing out at anyone who's really good at pushing your buttons.

It's not enough to make him feel guilty for the things he said- after everything that happened, he doesn't think he owes it to this guy to feel guilty for just saying things- but it gives a little more context.]

I get it. So I jabbed you in a sore spot, and you freaked out, huh. [which is also more or less what Kakyoin did to him. He does understand that, but commenting on it is a different matter.]

Ceased the problem? When you repress shit like that, it becomes baggage. Doesn't surprise me. You're so goddamn uptight when Yao's not fucking around with your head.

[So forgive him if he doesn't exactly believe that Kakyoin's 100% happy with shoving it under the rug. He's learned the hard way about leaving baggage in the past; his own recent failure in that is a sour, bitter reminder.

Let it go.mp3. You're Elsa in this situation, bud.]

[ 'baggage,' is it? kakyoin presses his lips together thinly, resisting the urge to point out that it takes one to know one. ]

What I just explained to you doesn't affect or excuse anything, and I never expected it to. My actions towards you were due to circumstances and a temporary lapse in self-control, not due to any sort of trauma or 'baggage,' as you might put it. The incompatibility between myself and others back home is something I've long since come to accept, and very few people here [ read: nobody except you ] react towards my ability with such vitriol.

[ very faintly, there's an edge of discomfort starting to creep into his voice, and kakyoin pauses to clear his throat. as much as he tries to distance himself from this issue -- something that should be a non-factor, now that he has jotaro and the others as an anchor to keep him more grounded -- it's still a little unsettling to discuss with anyone. it almost makes him feel a little compromised. this is something he shouldn't let himself be affected by; he should be above this.

it comes out a little clipped, a little more business-like when he continues, guiding the conversation back towards arakita. ]

While I understand that you're concerned for your safety -- for perfectly valid reasons -- this isn't a thread of conversation that will achieve much for you. The context for what I did to you is ultimately irrelevant, after all. I won't make the same mistake again, regardless of what you may wish to say to me in the future, and this isn't a subject that has much relevance in Haven.

If you're worried about keeping yourself safe, there are plenty of people here willing to protect and fight for people such as yourself. Allying yourself with them would be more productive.

[ see look, now let's talk about you. so smooth. ]

[He listens again, with the same surprising silence, only to find himself a little less forcibly apathetic and dismissive than before.

The complete distancing from the context of his actions bothers him ever so slightly, if not from a empathetic point of for. From his own experience, and thinking on the memories he's accumulated here, he has to grudgingly admit to himself that everything Yao made him do had a basis already existing inside of him. From the cold, uncomfortable tones in this guy's voice- even if they're masked by his usual stiffness- and the hard swallow, he can guess that it was the same case for him as well. Old wounds are still able to have salt rubbed in them, no matter if they've scarred over.

And long-winded speeches never were his favorite thing to listen to, anyway. Was this guy 17 years old, or some kind of college professor?]

...Geeze, you said all that and you still don't got me convinced it ain't a sore button. Whatever. Go ahead and dance around it with the "it was all Yao and my shitty self control and not nothing I care about anymore" thing if ya want. I don't care. [sure.] I'm not scared that you're gonna attack me.

[...anymore. That word is conspicuously missing.

Still, Kakyoin's diversion has worked for the moment. It inspires a knee-jerk reaction and a slight bare to Arakita's teeth, even if it's unseen. Everyone has sore spots, it seems.]

Shut up. I'm not gonna grovel for protection at some guy's feet like a fucking coward.

[He reels himself in from that snap statement with an attempt at a dismissive click of his tongue.]

Why do you care, anyway?

[ that click of the tongue is promptly answered with a condescending huff, followed by a snippy, ]

Don't be stupid.

[ which is, sadly, probably the most age-appropriate thing he's said to arakita yet.

now that they're no longer discussing something so personal that he's kept under wraps for so long, some of the stiffness in kakyoin's voice melts away; he sounds much more at ease dealing with what he thinks is a 'stupid question,' than when he is talking about himself. ]

I'd hate to give Yao the satisfaction of managing to kill anyone. But more importantly, you're a living, breathing person -- it's natural that I'd want you to live. This place poses a considerable danger to everyone, even those who are capable, so I doubt you'll survive long if you stay that brash and prickly.

[ it's said sharply, but not necessarily cruelly, and kakyoin pauses for a moment before continuing, his tone of voice evening out to something much more matter-of-fact. ]

You don't have any abilities, and that can't be helped. It's something you had no control over, and it's not something you can change, even with great effort. Bad luck, but no one can blame you for it, and brooding over it would be a pure waste of time. So instead, you should focus on forming alliances -- not groveling. Even the strongest people here have limits to how much they can accomplish on their own, so you'd have to be tremendously haughty to think yourself an exception to that rule. Do you understand?

[ he definitely could have worded it more kindly if he wanted, but it's fairly sound advice, given sincerely and without judgement. ]

[He doesn't have a lot to bring to the table- he doesn't doubt his skills where they lie, but he can't imagine them being a fair trade for complete protection. He knows his personality isn't going to win him any favors either. In simpler terms, he doesn't have much value to other people here, so he'll compensate by doing the best for himself- by pushing himself forward, because that's where his personal value was back home.

...Even if it is lonely, which isn't something he's willing to acknowledge yet.

Sadly, this isn't the forced honesty week, and none of this comes out. He's repeatedly shooting himself in the foot here- and on some level recognizing it- but man if the instinctual reflex to protect himself from rejection (that he managed to move away from with the stable friendship of his team) isn't a tempting thing to fall back on.]

Of course I understand, moron! Don't talk down to me like I'm some kind of fucking idiot!

[It's not as snappish as it could be- whether he verbally admits it or not, he does recognize that Kakyoin does care. a little bit.

He scoffs to a less angry state.]

Like most people here are gonna go out of their way to make a dumb [(unequal)] trade like that. It's a fucking hell hole here, and not everyone's naive [(noble)] like you. Most people will do what they need to get ahead, especially when things are this bad, and they're not gonna stick out their neck for some stranger just 'cause they're living and breathing.

[Translation: I really, really suck at approaching people for the specific purpose of making friends.]

I'm still surviving now, idiot. That's not gonna change. I'm fine.

[ he's quiet for a moment, as if digesting everything that arakita's so tactfully said, before murmuring quietly, ]

I see. So it's like that.

[ it's starting to make sense. between what arakita said back then, while their inhibitions were compromised, and what he's saying now, combined with the fact that he's not spiteful enough to take up that offer of 'an eye for an eye' -- arakita is probably a pessimist out of self-defense. operating on a lurking fear of betrayal and a lack of confidence, puffing himself up aggressively to hide it.

understandable, if tremendously irritating to deal with.

kakyoin sighs softly before speaking up, his tone of voice calm. ]

Believe what you will, then. But I'm going to give you one piece of advice. Doubt people all you want, but if you're proven wrong -- if someone does come to your aid and considers themselves your ally -- don't aggravate them just because you have no faith in people. At that point, you'll have a hard time being fine for too long. Even you would know better than to throw away resources that you've acquired, correct?

[ there's a pause before he seems to remember something and adds, ]

And -- my name is Noriaki Kakyoin. I'd ask if you're perhaps unfamiliar with the concept of names, but surely even you're not that crass, Arakita. [ which he only knows thanks to arakita's own inbox message. thanks! ] If you're ever in danger and shout for an 'idiot' to come help you, you won't get a response. So learn to use names.

[ i.e. 'maybe i'll come help your sorry ass.' this has basically become a tsundere-off, goddammit arakita. ]

[The understanding in Kakyoin's voice makes his scowl deepen, his shoulder muscles tense just slightly. He doesn't like when people who he doesn't trust try to "figure him out", per say, or at least think they completely understand who he is. Or, at least, that's what he reads in his "I see". He's moved past thinking that this guy lords himself over him, but it's still a far cry from completely trusting him. Still, it's a step forward, somewhat.

The advice, however, goes without comment- he'll admit that, if he was desperate and someone extended him a hand, it'd be straight up idiotic to reject it. For now, however, he'll keep his own hands in his pockets.

...At least until someone else needs help, and his better morality gets him. In other words, there is absolutely no way that he will later recall this very conversation in a flashback while presently experiencing the exact situation that Kakyoin is describing.

Absolutely not.]

Just cut that pretentious crap out already, geeze. You really think I'm that fucking stupid?

[Don't... answer that.]

Don't worry. I won't forget the name of an annoying guy like you, Kakyoin.

[i.e., "maybe i'll remember you when I do need help, you pain in the ass", it is a tsundere-off, goddamnit arakita.]

[ there's a faint noise as kakyoin opens his mouth, perfectly ready to snap, yes, you really do seem that stupid. but, after a moment of thought, he decides to hold back, just for now. he did make this call to apologize, after all, and ending this particular call with a blatant insult would be a little too crass -- even if arakita deserves it.

he'll leave the overtly scathing remarks for if there's a next time.

kakyoin just sighs (again). ]

Very well. I don't particularly care what context you remember it in.

[ there's so much he could say about arakita being crass enough to mistake 'composure and common sense' for 'pretentiousness,' but again, he'll just barely hold back for now. his tone of voice is quiet, businesslike as he adds, ]

I owe you one. If you're in need of a scout or a fighter, I'm at your disposal, just once. You know how to contact me.

[ and then he hangs up before arakita has the chance to be snippy back. ha, take that, you shit. ]

[Believe him, he had definitely had something to say about that, and he had already inhaled the breath prepared to say it... as Kakyoin hangs up.

So it comes as a "GODDAMNIT!" to an empty room and to a shut-off phone instead.

Seriously, dammit, Kakyoin. He doesn't like having debts, and he isn't the type to hold them over people's heads either. In the end, that promise just frustrates him. He definitely won't call on him for it. Definitely not.

...Goddamnit.]

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